Transitions

This has been a big week for us. From the time I knew I was pregnant until Monday I have fretted, cried, panicked, changed my mind a million times, ranted, begged, decided to quit school, known I was the worst Christian mother in the history of the world, and have suffered intense guilt, all on a daily basis. Know why? Because it's impossible to complete my degree without putting Henri in some form of childcare, and who would have a child knowing they were just going to dump them? (OK, I realize there are many reasons for putting your kid in daycare and they're legit, it's just no one I personally know does it). I won't bore you with the ins-and-outs and reasoning's and such, but we settled on an institutional daycare (vs. home-based or nanny). It's affiliated with Steve's job in that there are stricter regulations than the state requires (1:3 teacher ratio, for starters), we get a better rate (though that's relative.....), and being that it's MIT the programming, though loose for this age group, is educationally focused and quite granola crunchy (when we went to visit for a half day we started out in a yoga class. for 1 year olds. ha).

I did a ton a research and reading on how best to prepare your child for this big change (she's been left with a sitter, other than the beloved Kelsea, once in her lifetime, and that was for 3 hours) and basically it boiled down to; "It's going to be rough". OK, I could handle this. What's a boatload more of guilt on top of what I already have? We went shopping together for her lunch box and sheets and a new blankie for nap times. I talked as upbeatedly as possible about how she was a big girl and going to school. And she just did her own thing and didn't have a clue and I wanted to snatch her and run far far away. But that's not what (nominally sane) adults do. So on Monday we went to school.

And the little stinker loves it. And so did I. All the guilt of placing her has now been replaced with guilt over how much I have loved having her in school for three whole days a week. Maybe today will be different and they'll tell me she was sad the whole time, but up to now, she's been thrilled to go. She loves the kids, the new adults to faun over her, all the toys, the outside time, the circle time, the snacks (yeah, a little jealous of all the organic yumminess they get). In fact, only thing she hasn't liked is nap time and that's because she has to stop playing. Ms. Cindy has assured me H is not sad, just throwing an angry temper fit when it's time to lay down (I guess I'm relieved at that, though a bit embarrassed she's throwing a fit for her teacher, but Ms. Cindy is more than prepared to handle such nonsense) but she's taken a nap there every day.

It's meant a change to our nursing schedule (Helloooo, dear friend the pump), and she's been a pill the days she was home, and I think she's already gotten a cold (we've started vitamin supplementation), but it's been the easiest transition I could have dared to imagine. I've been productive beyond belief and wish we'd done this much sooner. We're facing another event in a few weeks when I leave her for 8 days, and up till now I was so sad. I'm sure I will miss her, but seeing how well she does without me, and how matter-of-factly she accepts that I will be back and greets me as such, I'm starting to look forward to some intense uninterrupted learning (and partying....) time.

The camera didn't come out this week as it was recuperating from its vacation, so here are a few from my phone:

Some art work Henri decided to bless us with

The neighbors roses are having a second bloom for the season

First (sunken) apple pie of the fall

Mostly as a way to keep her busy, H has been assigned her morning breakfast dishes as a new chore

She loves it. It also means the floor gets mopped daily now

At school this morning

This is when she was telling me I could take off, she was all set :)

Small car trip this afternoon, so I picked her up two new books to celebrate her first week of school. Note the first one; they now have Jane Eyre, the Austin series and others for babies as a way to introduce them to great literature. "Monkeys" was a huge hit in CA so she's getting her own copy

 

An example of the P&P book; H might not be amused but I was cracking up in the aisle reading this.

I'm off to re certify in fetal monitoring, luxuriate in the shower with no little hands pulling the shower curtain off, brew my second mug of coffee for the day (mild coffee obsession/addiction going on right now), fold laundry and have it stay folded! and miss my baby. Enjoy this glorious fall weather!